“Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationship?”
Relationship patterns
Patterns that repeat in relationships with partners, family or at work: fear of being left, not setting limits, always being the giver. In individual work we look at your part.
Some clients describe their relationships like a list at the first meeting and finish with the same sentence: “The same thing always happens.” Different people, different cities, but a similar ending. This repetition is usually not luck or fate but a way of protecting oneself learned early, which once worked.
Schema therapy calls these patterns “schemas”: abandonment, mistrust, defectiveness, self-sacrifice and others. In sessions we first find which schemas play a part in your story, then examine the situations that trigger them and the way you respond.
This work is individual: it does not focus on changing the other person but on your part and your options. If couples therapy is needed, I can refer you to a colleague who works in that field.
What you may notice
Relationships with different people reaching the same end
Fear of being alone or abandoned
Not being able to say “no”, always putting others’ needs first
Wanting to pull away as closeness grows
Cycles of jealousy or mistrust
Who is it for?
People noticing a repeating pattern in their relationships
Those wanting to understand themselves after a break-up
Those struggling to set limits with family
Note: I do not offer couples therapy; this work is individual
Relationship patterns: how we work
Finding the pattern
We place past and present relationships side by side and name the repeating scenes.
Schemas
We recognise early patterns such as abandonment, defectiveness and self-sacrifice.
Needs
We notice the unmet need behind the pattern and try to meet it in healthier ways.
New sentences
We build concrete sentences for setting limits and voicing needs, and try them in the session.
What people ask about this
KadıköyKadıköy, Wednesday 4 November 2026
What do CBT and schema therapy mean?
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a structured, research-supported approach focusing on the cycles of thought, feeling and behaviour that keep current difficulties going. There are short tasks between sessions.
Schema therapy builds on CBT and works with patterns born of unmet childhood needs that repeat in adult life. It uses experiential techniques such as imagery and chair work and usually takes longer.
